Every Day For The Rest Of My Life
by oiefjoiejgwf
Summary: Wrote this quite some time ago, when Ste had the accident. Figured I might as well post it, so whatevsss. Different spin on what actually happened, but still good ending! Might add another chapter if people want?
1. Chapter 1

Steven's POV

I suddenly felt my legs walk out my flat and head towards the village, I'm guessing I'm going to Cheryl's flat, after all she's like the big sister I never had, she helped me with everything, including this wedding which was a surprise. Considering her brother was my ex-lover... And well, let's just say Doug didn't exactly enjoy being in his company, actually he didn't enjoy _me_ being in Brendan's company now that I think about it..

I was still in a pair of trackies and a blue striped top. I was just hopeless at getting ready properly, my tie looked dirty and just didn't seem to look right, my trousers were shiny-in a bad way, and all crinkled. A fashion disaster.

Let's be honest, it's been years since I turned my life around and I still felt like a lil' chav on the inside. Guess not all things change. But it was my big day so I had to make the effort, after all how embarrassing would it be going up to the alter with Doug's blue eyes staring down at me, him wearing a nice suit and me in my trackies. Recipe for disaster I'm guessing. I began walking up the stairs towards the flat as I felt my mind beginning to drift away thinking about whether or not I was doing the right thing, I mean I just caught my soon-to-be-husband trying to rat Brendan to the police. I didn't want to admit but my heart began to pump harder than usual and I could even hear it through my ears, it made me sick to my stomach thinking of Brendan locked away behind bars, I just didn't understand why? I mean today was the day I married Doug, the day I've been looking forward to for ages, it's meant to be the happiest day of my life, I've got my very own business, I've got a good STABLE future to look forward to and my kids are even going to be here for my wedding but still I couldn't bring myself to admit that I wasn't anywhere near as happy as I should be. And that's when I saw it, I mean I'd been in me own small world for some time now and I just clicked into reality. Instead of Cheryl, it was Brendan I was now staring at, his eye's locked onto mine, and then I saw it, a suitcase, filled with clothes, and a small Bible placed on the top. My eyes flashed from the suitcase to Brendan, suitcase – Brendan, suitcase – Brendan. I stood there, my heart basically pumping out my throat. Then a place ticket on the side. It was silent for fuck knows how long. Then he broke the silence.

"Steven." His Irish accent dug deep into my ears.

He broke it again.

"Can I help ye with summit? Don't ye have a wedding to go to? That ain't the normal wedding attire you're wearin' there?" His gaze interlocked with mine again, just as he broke it off to look me up and down for the second time.

"I was just.. Just, looking for Cheryl – what's going on? Are you leaving?... Brendan?!" I mumbled off the first bit about Cheryl and then quickly added my suspicions, I needed to know, was he leaving? For good?!

"She's not in, she'll be down at the chapel preparing for ye wedding." His voice cracked a bit at the word '_wedding_' his blue eyes looked up at me and then around the room not being able to focus and keep them still.

Before I knew it, his usual poker face returned. He moved his hands around as to signal telling me where the door was.

I didn't care about that at this moment in time, I just needed to know if he was leaving forever, which I'm guessing he is as he refuses to answer my questions. But I persisted. I know I shouldn't care but I just got in a fight with me fiancé for defending him, the least he could do was give me a straight answer. Or so to speak.

"Brendan, answer my question. Are you leaving?"

He just stared at me. The room froze. Time froze. I knew what he meant, but I wanted to hear it for myself. Was it for good?

"Right okay, just ignore me then, but the least you could to is answer me question. Yeno ever heard of common courtesy?"

He just laughed but it was a soft laugh, like he was broken but looking for an escape. I just kept asking though, I wanted to leave it as that but something was ticking inside my head so I asked him again.

"Right yano what?! It's the least you could do. You know ya owe me at least that, all I'm asking is if you're leaving Hollyoaks for good. Not a love declaration or nowt." Anger spilled onto those words. Why was I angry all of a sudden? What's going on?

He snorted.

"Owe you? I don't owe ye fuck all Steven. Now if you don't mind closing the door on your way out as you make it to your lovely _perfect_ fucking wedding!" he snapped at me, I knew how much it hurt him knowing I was getting married, I just didn't think he still cared like this. But his eyes said different.

"Really? How about all them times ya was smacking me round? Ey? Don't you owe me nowt for that either? Or did ya think a bit of guilt money was gonna make up for all them bruises and scars? I've tried to fix things with ya, don't make this seem like it's my fault, this right now. What I have with Doug, me getting married to him now, it could be me and you, and you know that! But it's not, cause you just pushed me away everytime!" I didn't like how this was heading and I know how much it hurt him whenever someone brought up the past of when he hit me up but I just blurted it out, I didn't mean to.

"Don't say tha Steven. Ye know how much I regret doing what I did to ye. But I guess ye won't have to worry about me no more. Will ye?! I'll be out ye fucking life for good soon! Both of ye, you and ye precious Douglas!" The last bit hurt, he almost screamed it at me as he threw a lamp at the wall. We both knew we didn't want to argue but that was all we could do today. Seeing as it was an awkward day for him.

"So you are leaving then?! Why didn't ya just say that when I asked ya?! But no ya had to make me angry! Coz you don't have the balls to answer do ya? No course not. Coz' when it comes down to it big man Brendan Brady is a coward. He only cares about himself!" I screamed at him back.

What was I doing?! On my wedding day and I spend it having an argument with my ex. This wasn't right.

"I've tried to change for ye Steven. I really fucking have! But nothin's ever fucking good enough for you! Ye know somethin Steven, I've been told by someone that I owe it to ye to tell ye how I feel. So here it is Steven, I've never stopped loving ye, I thought this thing with you and Douglas was a fling. But now I see he makes ye happy in ways I never could, so why should I put myself through rejection?! I've done everything in my power to change, to make ye proud of me, make me someone ye would be proud to be with. But after everything ye still love Douglas, I know I never did deserve ye in the first place, so I guess this works out better for everyone. I'm going back to Ireland because I can't stand to sit here while you say your vows to Douglas- how you'll love him forever. But Steven don't ye ever say I only care about myself. Cos you and I both know that's bullshit! I didn't tell ye cos I know ye better off with Douglas anyway. He'll make ye happy in way I'll never be able to. Ye fucking happy now Steven? Ey?!"

Those words stung. They engraved themselves into my heart, printed themselves onto my memory, scripted themselves in my ears. They replayed in my head like a broken record player. As I snapped myself back into reality. Progressing every single last word he spat at me I found myself unbalanced as he shoved me out the way and slammed the door. There it was. Everything I ever wanted to hear. But just a little too late. As the door slammed shut, I felt like most of my heart left with it. There it was. The door to my past. To my heart. Time froze with me. I knew right then that if I didn't go after him I'd lose him forever. As I opened the door and legged it out, reality hit me like a brick. There I stood in the middle of village with nothing but cold air trapping me, stiffening my limbs. I was all alone with wind touching my face. I looked around. He was gone. Maybe this was how it was always meant to be.

I felt pain that I hadn't really felt in along time. Loneliness. That pain I felt every time I woke up to an empty bed after spending the best night of my life with Brendan. That pain I felt every time he kicked me out his house after we'd just had the most blown-minding sex known. That pain I felt when he refused to acknowledged me in public. It's been two years of the same games, the same dance, and endless lies and manipulation. I knew right then if I chased after him, that I'd only carry on feeling like this. Maybe I was meant to be with..Doug.. I rushed back to the flat and changed into my suit. Tears rolled down my cheeks. I rubbed them off and just smiled. I had a future to look forward to. And Brendan, well he's nothing to me now. It's finally over between us.

-Few hours later-

I had Cindy's arm wrapped tightly around mine as we both walked down the isle that we shared. Yep, that's right I had a shared wedding with my ex-boss, not the psycho ex-lover, no not him, I meant Tony Hutchinson...

I saw Doug stood there at the alter, he never looked happier, and well I was getting there too, loneliness was now no longer a part of my life, and neither was the man who kept hurting me.

We finally reached the alter and we said our vows and I felt better, I was happy. I did love Doug. He was my future. We had a future together. A good one!

Music hit my ears, my arms flew around and my legs danced to the beat, I got lost in the moment, everything was peaceful. I swung my arms around Doug;s neck, he did the same.

"Is ya phone charged up now then?" I said as I started looking through his pockets grabbing his phone out.

"What no, wait Ste!" he said in a panicked motion.

Then I saw it.

"[Brendan]."

_'What did ye want me to say ey Douglas? How I battered Danny Houston to death? Ye I killed him – for ye husband-nearly-to-be. For Steven. Would ye do that for him Douglas? Ey? Take the life of another man to save the one you love? Would ye?'_

"Doug what is this?!

"What the hell's wrong with you?! No you know what get ya hands of me Doug! Well guess what, this marriage is over before it's barely even began!" I shuffled out of his grasp and ran outside for fresh air. His eye's looked panicked, tears spilled down his face. I heard him shout my name repeatedly.

I took a deep breath. For fucks sake! Really after all this?! He's still trying to put Brendan behind bars it made me sick.

I saw Leah across the road picking daisy of the ground, a smile creaked onto my face, her and Lucas were my proud and joy, not a day went by that I didn't miss them. I called her over and before I knew it she was stood in the middle of the road as a mini-van and a car was speeding down..

"LEAH GET OUT THE WAY!" fear spread through my whole body.

"LEAH!"

Both the vehicles moved out the way and before I knew it my body flung over the mini-van. It crashed right into me. My head hit the floor suddenly. I couldn't move, my mind began to deteriorate.

Yano how they say that when you're about to die you see your whole life flash before your eyes? Well guess what? You don't. Not at all. You see only the things you love. For me it was when I first held Lucas at the hospital right after Amy gave birth to him, when I vowed to become a better person for him. When Leah drew her first picture of me and her with massive smiles. She was destined to be an artist she was. And then Brendan. Nothing more and nothing less. Just _my_ Brendan holding me, telling me he loved me and it was going to be okay.

I hadn't been able to open my eyes for weeks, I knew I was in the hospital though, I knew the minute I got pushed through them doors. Days went by that I just heard Doug cry, asking me to wake up, begging me. Saying he loved me. Speaking to me, having a conversation with me, knowing I wouldn't reply any time soon. I didn't have the strength to open my eyes. I couldn't, not just yet. I felt like I was dead, but my mind was still alive. And my heart. I'd get images racing through my head of Leah. Was she alive? Did she make it out? Did she get hit? All these questions filling up my mind but I just couldn't wake up, I felt like I was just a spirit floating in a dead body. A vegetable so to say... A couple of people had visited me, I could just about hear what they were saying, "ste wake up I love you, please" everything was along the same lines as that. Cheryl visited me a couple of times, she'd just sit there and cry. Doug was there all the time, just crying, saying sorry and how he loved me. The rest of the voices were a blur to me. I guess I was just waiting for a strong Irish voice to speak to me. But it never appeared, it never spoke..

After another week of being a vegetable I felt myself coming back to life. First I began to see if I could move my fingers, then I tried to see if I could speak, but the massive tube going down my throat made it uncomfortable as fuck. I felt a hand grasp mine. I did my best to hold it back, but I felt so weak, I could just about bend my fingers. Then my eyelids begin to open up, everything was out of focus, it was all a blur, it felt like my eyesight had been smudged. Colours were flying around. I saw two blue eyes staring down at me and the familiar voice of an American shouting down at me.

"Ste?! STE! Oh my god you're awake, please come on! Wait here I'll go get a someone now! Nurse! NURSE?"

And as if it was that simple I began to come back to life, my eyesight started to adjust. Doug's hand gripped onto mine with a strong hold. He spoke to me but words just couldn't come out my mouth.

"Ste, I've been so worried, I'm so sorry for everything I'm going to spend the rest of my life – our life, making it up to you, I love you so much, I'm so happy, I can't believe it! Just wait here I'm going to phone Cheryl she told me to ring her when you woke up!"

"I love you so much" Doug whispered and kissed me on the lips.

I looked around the room and felt a cold chain on my hands, I began to touch it, get a feel for it, it was familiar, strangely familiar, but what was it? I managed to build up strength to lift my arm up and there it was.

The cross which I use to always see around the neck of that particular Irish man, Brendan Brady. The one which he never took off for anything, the one that never left his chest even if we were having sex. That must mean he was in here, and he gave me it. I need to find him, I need to see him! Thoughts were running around my mind, driving me crazy. When the doors burst open and I saw the familiar face of my favourite Irish blond.

"Oh Ste love! It's so great to see you, you gave us a wee scare! It's great to see you, I've been so worried, we all have! Don't you dare do that again babe."

A smile splurged across her face as her soft voice comforted me. She went on for ages speaking about well anything that could cross her mind. But only one thing was on mine.

"Oh by the way we've been looking after you're kids, oh they are such a joy Ste! We had such a laugh with them, I'll bring them later if you want love?"

I managed to focus all my brain on my voice, I actually needed to speak to her now.

"Urm.. Yeah I-I..I just don't w—ant them tosee me li-ke this."

"Oh, of course, say nothing more pet. I'll bring them in once you've recuperated a bit yeah?"

"Y-eah, ugh, s—ssorry it hurts to speak."

"Oh of course, you get your rest love, don't be forcing anything on yourself, in fact I need to pick up your Leah from school now, she'll be over the moon once she hears you've woke up!"

"Yeah, but C—heryl, you said _we_ before, who's _'we'_?"

"Well me and Bren of course, who else love?"

I felt my eyes open properly this time, I suddenly felt stronger, knowing my Leah and Lucas were okay made me the happiest man ever, but to then know the man who I thought I'd lost forever not long ago let my kids stay with him and looked after them stopped making me feel weak and a smile just crept up on my face.

"Actually I should go phone him now, he'll be at Church though, like he has been for the past days, ah dear! He's been praying for ya non-stop our Bren has! But you get your rest love, and I'm sure B will be here as soon as you wake up"

A few minutes after Cheryl left, I felt myself drifting off to sleep, it was a good feeling what I felt now, I was genuinely happy. For once.

I got taken out my dreams and brought back to reality by the voice I'd been desperately waiting for these past weeks. I kept my eyes closed though, I know Brendan would never admit to me what he really felt if he knew I was awake. And with that I began to listen to what he was saying...

"- really scared me – us there, but I knew ye would pull through, ye are a fighter Steven, I mean I put ye through hell and back and ye survived that, survived me. I know I shoulda' been there to protect ye Steven, and I'm sorry, I let ye down. Once again. But knowing ye life could be dragged outa' ye killed me inside. I wish I could go back a few years and take back all the beatings I made ye go threw, when I made ye hide in the closet with me, I wish I could take it all back. It's just I can't, but I never expected any of this in my defence. I know if you could hear me right now ye would be laughing at me because that's no excuse and I know it ain't I just wanna explain ye know. I saw ye, and I thought you'd just be another lad that would want me, one I could use in any way I wanted, my own toy. But then I began to miss ye the nights ye weren't with me, pangs of jealousy arose when I saw other men flirting with ye Steven, with my Steven. Ye could make me smile, like no-one before and it scared me, all me life I grew up being taught that queers were fucked up people, they were disgusting, that everything I felt was disgusting, I was a freak, so I hated myself. Every time I looked in the mirror I was disgusted with myself, I wanted to hurt myself, so I hurt you instead, and you sat there so helpless. I hated it. I know we don't talk about this because well I just can't not to ye face, not when ye can hear me, because once ye would look at me with those eyes I would just wanna go run away, hah. The irony of tha', I'm Brendan Brady for fucks sake and I'm running away from you? Anyway I'm going on, like ye normally do. Hah. Ye but Leah's been a pleasure to look after, she'd come Church with me and pray with me for ye, you really should be proud of her, she's a good kid. I'm sorry I didn't visit much I just couldn't bare to see ye like this, it killed me, I'm a coward I know. But ye, I love ye Steven, always have, always will. Once ye are allowed out the hospital and ye can take care of Leah and Lucas again I'm off back to Dublin, for good this time. You and Douglas can have that happy future after all ey? But listen you have a good life ey, you deserve to, you're a good man Steven Hay, twice the man I'll ever be, but ye keep that cross ye? It's lucky and it'll look better on you than me, you can have something to remember me by, not that you'll want to, but ye, remember, 'every day until I'm in my grave, you will always be in my head.' I meant every word Steven, I still do."

Just as I was going to open my eyes and kiss him and told him that I loved him and still wanted to be with him, he was gone. He'd left. Once again, I'd missed my very last chance to be with the man of my dreams, the man I'd been in love with since fuck knows when. My very last chance.

Days went by and every time that door opened, hope filled my body, only to find it was Doug. I was beginning to resent the lad. - my husband. Ugh. I had to listen to him drone on every hour of every day. I couldn't take it any more, the only thing in my head was Brendan. Why couldn't It be Brendan boring me? Why couldn't it be Brendan telling me all this? Why couldn't it be Brendan speaking to me? Why couldn't it be Brendan by my side? Like it should be. Until I gave up.

"Doug.. can you phone Cheryl and ask her to bring Leah and Lucas round, please?" my voice had gotten much stronger, in fact my whole body had, it was a good feeling.

"Yeah yeah of course Ste! God it's great to hear your voice again, I've missed it so much."

I just smiled back, what else was I meant to do?

A coupla' hours passed and then. There were my beautiful little kids rushing through the doors onto my lap, their smiles as big as their faces, god it was good to see them again, I'd missed them so much! We all had a little catch up, them telling me how much they missed me, how much fun they'd had with "Auntie Cheryl and Uncle Brendan" hah. They made me genuinely smile, it was good. To be happy again, having my kids round my arms again, like it should be.

Just as it was time for them to leave, Leah suddenly burst onto my lap and showed me this picture she'd drawn me, she was a good artist she was, my little girl!

"Look daddy, it's me and you in the park with Lucas in your hands, and mummy's there behind looking at fairies!" a massive grin appeared on her face.

Tears sprung to my eyes, it was amazing.

I thanked her for drawing it for me, and then I turned it over to the back and there it was. Those words.

_'Under the shelter of each other, people survive'_

"Leah what's this sweetheart?" I pointed to the writing.

"Uncle Brendan told me to write it, he said it would make you smile, me and him went to Church everyday, we're Catholics now."

"Is that so? Well you tell Uncle Brendan thank you from me and you better say thank you for letting you stay with him and Auntie Cheryl, yeah?"

"Yeah daddy."

"Good, now come on, off ya go, you need to go to sleep now, love you, give us a kiss."

"Love you too daddy, good night"

Cheryl took her and Lucas back and I clutched onto the drawing tightly, tears streaming down my face, not realising Doug was sat right next to me.

"Uncle Brendan ey? So what's this then Ste? You tell me you don't love him then whenever someone mentions his name your eyes open wide and you turn all happy! And now you're crying over some stupid words he said. Why did you bother marrying me if you love him so god damn much?! Ey Ste?! What excuse you going to come up with this time?!"

Oh shit. I really messed it up this time. But I just couldn't bring myself to argue back, I wanted to be alone, cry alone. But there was no point denying anything any more, I'd never be happy with Doug, not the way I'd want to be, for some time he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life, he was the one I loved, but that was back when Brendan was fighting for me and I knew that he'd always fight for me so I'd be able to push him away, but now. Now I was going to lose him, forever. And if I stayed with Doug I'd just wish he was Brendan all the time.

"Look Doug I'd really like to be alone now, so.." hopeful he'd get the message and leave.

My long eyelashes swept up the tears that trickled down my face, I could just see a blurry outline of Doug.

"God Ste! You can't even come up with a lie any more can you?! So all them times you told me you didn't love Brendan any more that you loved me, who were trying to convince me or you?! That man abused you Ste, he made you miserable, he beat you black and blue, and still you pick him over me?! He made you hide who you are, hit you, made you cry and still you go running back to the Marvellous Brendan Brady?! Well you know what it's your choice. Him or me?! Because we will never be able to be together while he's still controlling you! Phone me once you've sorted your head out yeah?! God Ste!"

"He's not controlling me any more Doug. He's changed."

Why did I have to open my mouth? Why didn't I just let him leave. But no I had to defend Brendan. Fuck sake.

"Really?! That's all you have to say for yourself?! This is ridiculous, you're more stupid that I thought! Well guess what I'm done Ste, it's over! All our future ruined because of that, that thug! That criminal! Look at him for what he is Ste! Or has he got his claws too deep inside of you?!"

"You what?! Ya know what Doug, get out! Get out my face, and don't come back here! Not now not ever!"

"Wow. Well fine. Whatever you got your wish then ey Ste! Brendan finally won in the end didn't he? Remind me to congratulate him some time."

He stormed out, and I held Brendan's cross closely to my heart, while tears ran down my face, my eyes began to swell and turn red, the picture which Leah drew began to get damp, I couldn't stop the tears, then I felt this arm go around my neck, this body hold me, and that voice, that strong Irish voice. Was I dreaming?

"Hey hey, calm down, it's okay, don't cry Steven, he's not worth your tears, no-one is, shh."

He kissed the top of my head and drew circles round my arms, while his left arm held my waist and his breath tickled my neck. I felt his nose rub against the back of my head.

"I'm not crying over 'im right! I'm crying over you! I don't love Doug, ye, I love YOU! But you just leave me, go on then why aren't you in Dublin?! Ey?! I'm getting better so Leah and Lucas will be able to come back home with me, so tell what you doing 'ere then?"

I couldn't stop crying, I was trying to choke back the tears, I wanted to be angry at him but I couldn't. He made me feel so loved, so safe.

"I.. I came to say goodbye. But ye don't mean that Steven you've just had a little fall out. Teething problems. Ye love him not me, I hurt you."

"Stop telling me what I feel right! I LOVE YOU Brendan! I always have! I want to be with you, please"

I felt his breath stop, the room filled with silence.

Seconds later.

"I love ye too Steven, more than you could ever know." He whispered into my ear.

The next half an hour was filled with a silence, a comfortable silence, no-one spoke, or anything, eventually my tears stopped, and I just rested my head on his chest. I couldn't be happier. Until..

"Steven." He nudged me carefully, like as if I'm delicate and he doesn't want to break me..

"I have to go, my flights in a few hours and I don't wanna miss it, just know that I'll always love ye and I hope ye have a good life, ye really do fucking deserve a happy ending."

"Why do you keep doing this? It's cos you're scared innit? You're scared. But you don't need to be, me and you. We'll get through whatever problem gets thrown at us. Please. Just..Just don't leave me."

"Steven. With guys like me, we never get happy endings, just a bunch of obstacles that make our life difficult and then we eventually die. I'll never be able to be the man ye want me to be."

His arm began to slide away from my neck but I just held onto it, I wouldn't let it move.

"Steven." he warned me.

"Stop it Brendan! Okay you are already the man I want you to be! I don't care what you say, I will always be in love with you, and if I have to follow you to Dublin so you believe me then I will, you know I will!"

I heard a slight chuckle behind me.

"Steven ye really are an eejit sometimes aint ye?"

I turned around, smiled at him with a massive grin and kissed him softly on the lips, how good it was to finally touch them lips again, it made me feel at home. He rubbed his forehead with his free hand and he raised his eyebrows and his wrinkles appeared. I dropped my head to rest on his arm. We both lay there, soundless, flawless, just perfect. Like it should be.

He grabbed my hips and spun my whole body around to face him, our foreheads resting against each other, while we both got lost in each others eyes. We met each other halfway for a kiss, I got lost in the moment, like it was just me and him, no hospital, no hospital bed, no-one else, just me and him. I rested me head on the crook of his neck while he stroked my hair.

"Ey Steven, how did you know I was going back to Dublin?"

He lifted my head up and stared into my eyes.

Shit. I'm going to have to come clean now. I'll try and play it cool first..

"What? I don't know what ya mean..?"

"Dublin Steven. How did ye know I was goin to Dublin?"

I might as well just tell him now, he's not going to let it drop...

"Well, see don't get mad, please! But when you came to visit me at night when after I'd woke up and you told me all that stuff about when you hit me and how you love me and how you were going to go back to Dublin, I might've have been awake! But before you say anything I only pretended to be asleep because I knew if I'd been awake you would have been so stubborn and you wouldn't of said half the things you did say and I just needed to hear the truth for once. And when I opened my eyes to tell you I loved you too and stuff you'd already left. Don't get mad please?"

A small laugh escaped from his throat.

"Steven, that's pretty smart, for a kid like yeself. Course I ain't mad, it was good that ye did in a way, I needed to get all that off me chest." he winked at me and stroked my cheek bone.

"I learnt it from a special someone. I love you Bren"

"I love ye too Steven. Ye still wearing me cross"

"Well you said I could keep it, why you want it back?"

"Don't be stupid Steven, I want ye to have it. It's lucky."

"Yeah it really is."

"Hm, well look, I still gotta go to Ireland because I promised Deccie and Paddy that I'd go see them-"

"Oh.. Okay.. well you did promise them-" I crossed my arms against my chest, I turned my head away from his and stuck out my bottom lip. My usual strops, which if I remember correctly Bren always found them amusing.

"Shh, you didn't let me finish! If ye want, if ye well enough, ye can come with me, if ye want that is?"

"You serious Brendan?! Like you aint joking?"

"Of course I wanna go! Yeah! I can't wait!"

I couldn't stop smiling. If someone told me two years ago that Brendan Brady would ask me to go to Ireland with him to see his kids I think I'd laugh my head off and told them that they clearly don't know Brendan as well as they thought they did, but it's nice to dream.

"Good. Now go to sleep, I'm shattered, I've spent the past weeks running after ye kids and I gotta tell ye they're full of energy them, and I aint been able to have a decent night's sleep knowing ye were lying here.

Don't know how you manage to run after them and still have time to put up with me."

He gave a soft laugh.

"I love you old man." I winked at him, I knew his age was the one thing he hated bringing up considering it was like 10 years old difference between us, but I didn't mind, I loved him, even if he was 10 years older than me, he meant everything to me.

"Ey watch it Steven, I aint old, now go to sleep, ye pissing me off."

He kissed me good night and with that we both finally had the sleep we'd been waiting to have for ages. That was the first chapter of my life finally complete, the first chapter of me finally happy. And the irony is, that I had to get married to someone else and have a near-death experience for this to work out. But I wouldn't take one minute of it back, because if that's what got us here, right now, to be in this moment, then I'd do it all over again if I had to, just as long as I knew that I'd be going to bed next to Brendan Brady and waking up next to Brendan Brady, every single day for the rest of my life.


	2. Chapter 2

**I find it easier to base the story around Ste's point of view than Brendan's as his characteristics are easier to write than Brendan's, but I'll try writing it from both of there point of view, but bare with me! Hints of Doug here, but no bashing as I don't actually mind him any more now that Stendan are back together.**

Steven's POV

I 'ad literally just got home a couple of days ago and I wa' already preparin to go to Dublin with Brendan. I wa' so excited but nervous at the same time, I mean I knew Eileen wouldn't be to happy with me going with Bren and I also had to go through the awkwardness of meeting his younger son Padraig and being distinguished as his 'special friend', fair point it was the easiest way to explain that his dad was gay and had a boyfriend. But at least I knew that this time neither of us were messin about and we were both going into this relationship both feet in and head first.

I hated the fact I wa' leaving my kids again though, I had missed them so much while being at the hospital and everyone seemed to notice that, as all I wanted to do was come home early but clearly I wasn't well enough to do that and I still needed help which I obviously didn't want to accept..

"_For fucks sake Steven. You gotta let us help ye, how do ye plan on coming with me to Dublin if ye aint even well enough to get out this hospital bed!"_

_I could see his patience wearing thin, lately he'd been waiting on me hand and foot while trying to deal with my mad mood swings and childish sulks, meanwhile all I did was give him grief. _

"_Well, maybe I am already well enough to leave but no-one's letting me go home!"_

_He laughed dryly. And I could see him getting ready to give up, and just leave me. It'd been like this for a week or so. Gotta be honest though it was driving me insane staying in this hospital bed when I could easily be with me kids or with Brendan in Ireland._

"_Cause ye ain't well enough! How many fucking times do I have to say that till it finally drills into ye head?!" _

"_But I am! Don't you see! I've been well for ages but even when I beg you to ask them to let me leave you flat out refuse. You're just being unfair now Brendan!"_

"_I'm just looking out for ye Steven. Don't think it'll be too good if we're walkin round the streets of Dublin and ye just suddenly pass out" _

_I had stopped making eye contact with him for some time but I could feel his eyes burning right through me. The intensity of the stare was making me nervous and I couldn't think straight. I knew I was going to snap soon and from the look at his tensed back and clenched fist so was he._

"_Oh, yeah, I get it now. You just wanna be in Ireland and sick of me being 'ere innit? Oh thanks a lot yenno! Bet next you'll be saying that I threw myself onto the mini bus an that this is all me fault!" _

"_Oh, stop being stupid Steven. Just listen to ye self. All I want is for ye to get better. Properly, not just rushing to get ye self better!"_

"_Yeah, well 'member when you were here cos' of that explosion? Yeah well I got you out of 'ere early and took care of you and let you stay with me and Doug cos' you asked me to! Why won't you do this for me?!"_

"_Oh, come on this is getting ridiculous. I had to get out because I had to protect ye and Cheryl from Walk-"_

"_Walker, yeah blah blah blah! You know what I think Brendan?! I think you want me to stay in the hospital cos' then you can control me if you're watching me at all times! Control who see's me and where I go!"_

"_What? That's just fucking stup-"_

"_That's the thing Brendan, it ain't stupid! Not at all! Right, cos' I heard you when you sent Doug away yeah. He came to visit me and you sent 'im away tellin 'im I didn't wanna see 'im and shit! Well I think I'm pretty capable of deciding who I want near me or not!"_

_I was literally screaming at him now, which I'm pretty sure other patients wouldn't be happy about but it was driving me insane being stuck 'ere! I was well enough, I know I was so why couldn't I just go home!_

"_Steven-"_

"_No Brendan. I don't wanna hear whatever feeble excuse you've managed to come up with, just leave me alone."_

_I had turned my head to face the window at this point, so all I heard was a deep sigh and the sound of his shoe's move around and complete silence. I turned back around to find myself alone. Great. Now I just wanted to run after 'im and beg 'im to stay with me, but I couldn't. Because I wasn't strong enough to walk anywhere- nevermind run. Maybe he was right. Maybe I still wasn't well enough to leave.._

_I must've fallen asleep cos' when I woke up it was dark outside and there wasn't any noise to be heard. I tried to reach my hand out to my side to see if I could feel any type of human contact, reassurance that Brendan was next to me, but all I could feel was absence. Thin air. I turned my head to look at the chair he was sat in at one point, and found it to be completely empty. After that I tried to get to sleep and shake any thoughts that popped into my head, however that didn't stop any of the tears that left me eyes only for my eyelashes to swift them off as they trickled down my face. What if Brendan really did leave.. As in just leave me 'ere, while he went to Dublin. I guess I couldn't blame 'im if this was true. What if he was doubtin ever even getting back with me? He must be sick of me now..sick of me pushin him away whenever he tries to help me. I felt a knot at the bottom of my. What if he really had just left..gone?! _

_After a while, I had calmed down and it was only silent sobs that were leavin me, but then I felt the slightest touch on my cheeks, then a hand push it's way through my hair, picking up the lost strands that were on my face joining them with the rest of my hair. It felt so soothing, I had been craving this all day. I opened my eyes slightly, hoping that it wasn't some dream I was in. _

"_Bren.." I gave a slight smile, I felt so relieved knowing he was right there. _

"_Hey."_

_I opened my eyes properly and sat up._

"_Hey? Is that all you can say? You leave me for ages and you just come back and say hey and you think that's it! I don't deserve any kind of explanation of nowt!?" _

_I knew really I shouldn't be shouting at him, challenging him, but I couldn't help it. _

"_Well, in my defence Steven ye did basically tell me to fuck off." his voice had a glint of humour suppressed in it._

"_Hm. I don't care. You still shun't of left me so long! I thought you'd left me for real! I got worried an thought you'd left for Dublin with out me." _

"_Well maybe then I would've finally got some peace." _

_I knew he was joking but I still couldn't help sulking a bit. _

_Then I felt a hand go under my knees and one under my back, he brought me back to his chest and held me there a while, kissed the top of my head and mumbled something into my hair. Curiosity obviously got the better of me there._

"_You what?"_

"_I said yer impossible kid."_

"_What's that supposed to mean? Is it that menna be a compliment? Right I don't know if you realised but you left me for ages anything coulda happened to me-"_

"_Don't say that Steven. Please."_

_I then felt him slowly put me down, I instantly missed the warmth his body brought and felt my arms dangle down and touch some kind of metal._

"_Sorry." I mumbled._

_Ey what's this Bren?" _

_I realised I was sat in a wheelchair and he'd picked up all my clothes put them in a bag and was pushing me down the halls._

"_Ye said ye wanted to go home didn't ye? So stop complaining."_

"_Yeah but I thought you said I couldn'-"_

"_I know what I said, but if ye had let me complete one sentence before without any interruptions ye would've realised that the reason I was gone for so long was that I was arranging everythin for ye welcome home back."_

_A massive grin his my face._

"_What made you change your mind? You seemed dead set on me not leaving if I 'member clearly!"_

"_If ye well enough to argue with me like that then ye must be well enough to leave." He raised his eyebrow and his eyes had a challenging look to them._

"_Aw, you're funny you ain't ya! Well, hang on a sec, I doubt the doctors agreed to do this. You're not kidnappin me or anything are you? Bren?"_

"_Yer think so low of me Steven."_

"_Shut up- I'm just ya know, saying it cos' I know you too well and something small like this. Right, I just wouldn't put it past you."_

_Next thing I hear is a bark of laughter from behind me. _

"_Well nothing to worry about Steven, yer not getting kidnapped or anything, so shut up will ye. Doing my nut in." _

I'd been so glad to leave, it was drivin me insane. After about a day on crutches I was able to get my strength up and Brendan booked the tickets for Dublin, I was so happy apart from the awkward conversations I had to 'ave with Doug..

"_So I heard Amy's going to be sticking around for abit?"_

_Lately all we could manage was awkward conversations and the odd joke. I hated it if I was honest, I knew we could never go back to the friendship we use to have before we ever got together, it was better then, I had a friend. A best friend. It was good, I never really had much experience with friends, all I had was Amy but she was the mother of me kids, so it kinda hurt knowin I'd never get Doug back as a mate._

"_Yeah she is, gonna look after the kids aint she!" _

"_Why? I thought you were well enough now?"_

_Oh shit. Now for the awkward 'by the way i'm going to Ireland with Brendan and leaving you to look after the Deli weeks after I'd just broke your heart.' _

"_Yeah, well I mean, I'm going away for a week or so ain't I.. So I need someone to look after me kids, and who better than Amy? She's missed them too so it's good, but I'll miss them." _

_I tried to spin the conversation onto a new direction, clearly didn't work._

"_Going away? Where to?"_

"_Dublin." I muttered quietly, hopefully he'd get the hint and leave it there._

"_Oh yeah, how come?"_

"_Going with Brendan to go see his kids..."_

"_Right, course yeah. Yeah, sorry I didn't kn-"_

"_Doug."_

"_No, Ste it's fine, really. I'm guessing you'll want me to manage the deli while you're gone yeah?"_

"_Please?"_

_He gave me a reassuring smile, I felt guilty for doing this, but was quickly dragged out of my guilt when I saw Brendan's name flash on my phone screen._

"Ste? Ste are you even listening to me?"

I got brought back to Earth with Amy waving a shirt in my face.

"Sorry what you say?"

"I asked you if you wanted to take shirt or not? When I asked you if you needed help packing I didn't realise that meant I'd do it all!"

"Sorry I was just thinking about summit, yeah, yeah that shirts fine."

"So where's..._Brendan_? Isn't he even going to help you pack? Real helpful isn't he?"

I knew she wouldn't be happy with me getting back with Bren, the minute I'd told her she was screaming at me but in the end I managed to calm her down.

"Amy. Stop it, alright? He's back at his packin too, yeno, I'm not the only who needs to pack clothes, he weren't plannin on visitin his kids naked."

Suddenly a dirty thought popped into my head, hm. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad seeing him naked all week. I reckon Amy knew what I wa thinking as she just shook her head and gave me a disapproving look.

"Ste.. Are you sure? I mean, are you sure you can trust Brendan? After everything he did to you! Are you sure breaking up with Doug was the best thi-"

"Amy just stop it okay! Me and Doug, yeah I loved him but more as a mate, being how I am with Brendan, now, it's all I ever wanted. I aint stupid okay, I'm not gonna be naïve and just think he's a saint all of a sudden, but he's changed, I know he has, he wouldn't ever hurt me like that again! So, just leave it Amy, whether you like it or not I'm gonna be with him."

She gave me a weak smile and just nodded.

A couple hours later and I was ready, all clothes were packed, I had said goodbye to kids and read them a good night story, and all I had to do was wait for Brendan.

He was running a couple of minutes late, must have had some trouble with the tickets or summit, cos' he told me he'd come pick me up from the flat at 9 it was 10 past now, but I'm sure it was nothing. I poured myself a glass of wine and sat down on the sofa, I began to fidget a bit as time went on. I decided to put the telly on and stretched my legs out, I didn't wanna crease my red chino's but I needed to relax. I watched the small hand hit half past and doubts were creeping in my mind all at once. What if he wasn't coming? What if he had second thoughts and decided he didn't want me to come? No, no, he wouldn't do that, not now. Not after everything.

Minutes went past, and he still wasn't here, this was getting ridiculous. I'll call him, yeah I'll do that, I've already text him twice asking him where he was, and got no reply, but I was beginning to get pissed off so I don't care if it looks desperate. After four rings I heard it go straight to voice mail. Okay, now I was really panicking. But no, he wouldn't leave me, I know he wouldn't! It's fine, he must be busy and not noticed his phone... Amy must have guessed what I was thinking as she came over to me holding the bottle of wine I had got out earlier, looking proper sympathetic. I hated it, cos' she was just adding to my doubts.

"Ste, are you sure he's coming?"

"Amy!"

"Look Ste, you told me he'd be here at 9, it's almost 10! I told you you shouldn't of trusted him!

"He will get here, just leave it! I don't need you tellin me this, I know he'll be here. He's just running late!"

We sat in silence for god knows how long, until I heard hammering on the door, as if someone was trying to knock the door down, immediately I knew who it was. Me and Amy looked at each other for never-ending second till I rushed to the door and pulled it back with such force I almost snapped it off it's hinges.

"Come on come on, Steven!"

"Steven, ye got yer stuff ready? Good. Come on we're gonna be late for the flight."

With that he turned around and rushed back to the car and disappeared through the fog and black sky, without even givin me a chance to say anything back. I did as he told me and turned around to kiss Amy goodbye.

I walked towards and the car and he picked up me suitcase and put it in his car, then signalled for me to get in the car. Once we were both in and he began to drive, I could see him staring at me through the corner of my eye, but I carried on ignoring him. I wasn't ready to speak to him until he explains why he left me waiting for so fucking long!

I had my head rested on the edge of seat and stared outside looking at the sky, till he broke the silence.

"We'll be stayin in the house by the way, I couldn't be arsed booking a hotel."

Silence.

I didn't feel like responding.

"Steven. Is that okay?"

"Steven, for fucks sake"

"WHAT? Yes it's fine! But I don't know why you're asking me cos' I can't do anything about it and I'm pretty sure you don't even care what I think!"

My plan to ignore him wasn't going to well, I didn't want to show him how annoyed I was but I couldn't keep my mouth from bellowing them words.

"What? What ye talkin about? Course I care what ye think, don't be stupid Steven."

"Oh, now I'm stupid? Great thanks Brendan."

If looks could kill, he'd be dead from the one I just gave him.

"Ye know I didn't mean it like that, now stop sulking about whatever seems to be bothering ye and cheer up yeah?" I keep see him trying to stir the conversation to a light topic, his voice was soft and soothing but still I couldn't seem to snap out this sulk.

I carried on ignoring him and looking out the window, till he sighed and tried again.

"Ye better not be like this for the rest of the journey, or else no point ye coming is there?"

I knew he was joking and he didn't actually mean it but right now I was too mad to care.

"Well just turn around and drop me off home again! Since I'm not fun!"

"For gods sake Steven! Ye know I didn't mean it like that!"

"Course. Never do do ya?!"

"Oh, what is yer problem? Why are ye acting like a baby all or a sudden? What's with this sulk? It's seriously wearing my patience thin Steven."

I just ignored him and stretched out my arm to turn the radio on so we didn't have to argue or stay in silence, but he grabbed my hand and turned off down a narrow road and stopped the car.

"Gerrof'"

"Ye gonna tell me what's botherin ye or we gonna have to be like this for the whole ride? Ey?"

"You were late!"

"What? I was la- what ye on about?"

"To pick me up! You said you'd pick me up at 9 and you came at like 10!"

"Oh come on Steven, what are ye 14? So I was late, stop getting yer knickers in a twist over somethin like that!"

"I knew you would say somethin like that!"

He gave a small chuckle.

"It ain't funny right! I was worried, I thought you weren't comin and you had second thoughts or summit and you didn't want me to go with you! I tried phonin you but you weren't pickin up what was I mena think yeah?!"

I waited for him to reply, but I heard nothing, so I turned my head to look at him to find him staring deep into my eyes smiling. Not a smirk, just..just a smile.

"What you smilin about now?!"

"You, ye bein a baby."

I was about to kick off when I realised he was joking.

"Shurrup'." I crossed my arms over my face to hide my red cheeks.

"Cute, really it is."

I rolled my eyes and frowned, but he still hadn't answered my question.

"Why did you take so long Bren? I was just sat there like an idiot waitin for ya, Amy was givin me them looks that said 'I told you so' I thought ya weren't comin."

I guess he noticed that I wasn't so much angry about it but more sad, I felt my eyes dropping a bit. And his face soften.

"Really wanna know?" His raised his eyebrow

I just nodded.

"Work ran late, someone eejits tried selling drugs in the club, I had to sort them out and then when I came home to get ready it was almost 9 and I needed a shower and sort the whole thing with the tickets and phone Eileen to check that she knew we were still comin round. I left my phone chargin when ye text me, and by the time I saw the missed calls and texts I was drivin so I left it. I didn't mean to make ye worry Steven, I just didn't think ye were gonna bite my head off so much."

Oh, that made sense, actually.. Still he wasn't completely off the hook but I was too tired to argue, I just wanted to go to sleep.

"Oh, okay.."

"Forgiven?"

"Yeah whatever, just start the car we ain't ever gonna get there at this rate!"

He just started laughing, I loved hearing his laugh, like his genuine one, not the one that's used to scare people.

After that, the ride to the Airport was comfortable, and me mood got uplifted within minutes. Every once in a while a song would come on that I liked and I'd be singing at the top of my voice and screaming just a bit louder when I couldn't hit the high notes just to wind Bren up a bit. Then when I had calmed down a bit from me hype I felt myself begin to doze off, and I felt his hand rest on me thigh, I looked up at him through me eyelashes and he just winked at me.

Next thing I knew, I woke up in the plane, I was sat on the seat by the window and me head was rested on Bren's shoulder, me left leg tangled with his right one, and his right arm was round me waist, I could hear his deep breaths and soft snores, he looked...adorable. Which is a word I'd never thought I'd use to describe him. I laughed silently at me own joke, before repositioning myself into my original position and allowing meself to go back to sleep.

I got woke up again by the announcement, being played. Saying summit along the lines of landing in 5 minutes, the journey had gone so fast and normally I ain't too good during plane flights. I looked up to find Brendan still asleep, I didn't want to wake him up but I knew I had too or else we'd never get off this plane.

"Bren.. Brendan. Wake up." I began to nudge him slightly, I didn't want to wake him up with a shock but then it began to piss me off that he was only stirring and not botherin to wake up.

"Brendan!" I shoved him till his head hit the back of his seat.

"Fuckin hell Steven, calm down." His voice was wrapped in a thick rough coating, he still sounded

half asleep, well to be fair he still was.

"We're landin soon."

"Okay, okay, yeah, give us a sec will ye."

He rubbed his eyelids and woke himself up properly.

"Was it okay then?"

I stared at him completely confused.

"The flight. Steven. The flight, was it okay? Any turbulence?"

"Oh yeah, no it was fine, I fell asleep actually."

A small chuckle escaped the back of his throat.

"Yeah, yeah I know, I had to basically carry ye into the plane, didn't have the heart to wake ye up."

I just smiled at him and leant up to kiss him. He met me halfway. I felt his tongue try to find it's way into my mouth and vise versa. I began to pull at his shirt, getting completely lost in the kiss, I began to undo some of his buttons till he pulled away.

I stared at him in confusion and felt rejected.

"Incase yer haven't realised but we're still on the plane. Don't think they'd be to happy if I started fuckin ye now." He winked at me, which just turned me on even more.

"Oh yeah." I suddenly felt my cheeks go red. And he just stroked them.

"Bet we put on a well good show for um. Got um proper entertained din't we?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah yeah,"

Before I knew it we had landed and we were making our way through airport security and all that crap. We got outside and I was freezing my balls off! I could see that Bren could tell what I was thinking by his sudden laughter.

"Aw baby Steven, not used to the cold?" He said in a mimicking voice.

"Hilarious you!"

We got back to the car, and I think I had fallen asleep for another hour or so cos' I got woke up by Brendan's lips on mine, and a hand snakin around my inner thighs.

I instantly smiled as from the look on his face I knew what he was thinking, I pushed the seat back so we could have more room and he pulled me towards him.

I straddled his lap and pushed up and down against his groin. I could hear him moaning into me mouth. I was grabbing his hair while his hands snaked down and found themselves cupping me ass cheeks. He groped them and I found myself moaning into his mouth while trying to now rip open his shirt. Buttons were flying everywhere, he broke the kiss to pull take me coat off and pull me t-shirt over my head, I saw lust completely fill his eyes. I spread my hands all over his chest going over his tattoo on his chest and curling me fingers around the hairs on his chest. I felt his mouth place soft kisses on my neck and he took my ear lobe inbetween his teeth and whispered into me ear.

"Like that do ye?"

I could only just manage and yes, I was too far gone, I could feel meself get hard and I began moaning when he began to suck against my neck. Me hands were gripping his hair now as he moved his mouth down my throat, licking at my Adams apple, he scraped his teeth across there before licking it better. He lowered his head even more till he got to my nipples, he started on me right nipple, then left, licking clockwise as they got stiff. I was still thrusting meself up and down the length of his dick. His hand fumbled on my belt till he got it off and shoved me pants down, I lifted me ass so he could get them half way down. It was a bit uncomfortable being in this position with the steering wheel digging into me back but I couldn't care less right now. His left hand immediately gripped my dick, and his thumb was going over the head of my cock, stroking slightly as pre-cum gathered up on my slit. I was still holding onto his head and left me head fall into the crook of his neck and he started fistin my cock hard and fast. I was so far gone, all you could hear was my moaning, I was screamin out Brendan's name, so loud.

"Bren..Bren, I.. I'm gonna come."

"Come for me Steven, come for me."

After a few more strokes and a few more of my screams, warm, wet liquid split all over his fist and our stomachs.

"Fuck that was good Bren."

I was tryin to catch me breath back when I heard a zip being undone, he lifted us both slightly so he could shove his trousers down to his ankles, I looked down to see the visible boner he'd acquired through the material of his boxers. He smirked at me and point down. I jumped off his lap and knelt down infront of him.

I began placing wet kisses all down his chest, biting in a few places, while my hands moved up and down his chest constantly. I lowered my head more and decided to tease him a bit.

I placed my hands on the waist band of his boxers and slowly pulled them down, all the while placing kisses near his groin. I could see him throw his head back and felt him run his hands through my hair.

I licked down his shaft and got my hands to massage his balls a bit. I placed small kisses on the head of his cock, and felt his cock twitch whenever it felt contact. I could hear Brendan givin small groans.

"Steven stop fucking about."

I smirked up at him, and then took him into my groaned loudly and began pulling my hair. I bobbed my head up and down, saliva covering his cock constantly, me tongue licking the throbbing vein every time. I could tell he was about to come, he was making little whimpering noises which I loved to hear every time. So I took him out of my mouth, stood up and began to touch myself.

"Fuck sake Steven, don't stop!"

I carried on touching myself till he took over again and just as I was about to come I felt him let go and push my head down, he was teasing me the bastard. I started deep-throating him again, the head of his dick hitting the back of my throat making his moaning even louder. Until I felt him come in my mouth, I heard him give a big satisfied groan as I swallowed every last drop.

"Fuck Steven."

I realised that my dick was still hard, I looked at him, hoping he'd finish it off for me and he did. He pumped his fist nice and hard for me till I came screaming his name. I lost myself, forgetting what my own name was the only words that left my mouth was 'fuck', 'Brendan', 'oh god'.

After it we both cleaned ourselves up and he kissed me hard, tongues clashing, teeth crashing. I knew that my lips must be red and swollen right now but I couldn't care less.

He broke off the kiss.

"Jesus Steven, ye couldn't of been a bit quieter could ye? Must of woke the neighbours up. Or worse me kids." He raised his eyebrows and burst out laughing at my horrified expression.

"Kids..kids? What do ya mean ya kids? I turned around as I was still stood over him, in the process knockin my elbow on the steering wheel accidentally beeping the horn, realising that we're parked infront of a big, white house.

I squinted and flinched at the sound.

"Is that.." I gulped and tried to swallow the lump stuck in my throat.

"Home sweet home Steven."

I smacked his arm.

"Ow, what was that for?"

"Why din't you tell me that was your house?!"

"No-one was watchin don't worry." He winked at me.

I smacked his arm again. He just found this hilarous.

"Come on, need to get some sleep, don't think Eileen will be to happy if we spend all tomorrow in bed because we're so tired." He pushed me off him and opened the car door.

I was still in shock. Nerves were filling his entire body now. Tomorrow he was going to meet Brendan's kids- well one of them cos' he'd already met Declan, and he had to spend a full week with them. Sure, at first he was excited to meet both his kids finally, but what if.. what if Padraig didn't like him? What if Declan didn't like him anymore either?

I just sat back and let my body flop onto the car seat, and stared at the house infront of me in anxiety.

It's gonna be okay, I just repeated to myself.

It's gonna be okay.

**Hope this was okay. It dragged on a bit, I know, I couldn't stop adding things so yeeeeno... Write a review to say what you think, it's nice to read what people think! Thank you to whoever does. I take any suggestions into consideration by the way.**

**Next chapter will be up soon, figured I might as well just split it into two parts, it will be more entertaining..**


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